Posted in gender presentation, labels

We Exist and That’s Pretty Radical

We Exist and That’s Pretty Radical
wherein I disagree with a recent article from Slate

A recent article from Outward: “Slate’s home for coverage of LGBTQ life, thought, and culture.” by Delilah Friedler entitled Gender Collusion poses the following question in its subtitle: People living outside the binary used to be outlaws. Now, gender nonconformity is fashionable. Can the GNC community still claim to be radical?

The article hones in on the appropriation of gender nonconforming identities by corporations – especially in the fashion industry – and calls for a rejection of this superficial victory. Friedler’s article has two main points: 1) “As a genderfluid person myself, I’m concerned that our normalization comes at the expense of our radical edge.” and 2) the urging in an investment in “the things that make us different and strive toward forms of liberation that will never be for sale.”

I’ve got some issues with these, so let’s address them one at a time. (more…)

Posted in gender presentation, general non-binary stuff

What Are We Supposed To Do With These Things? — boobs, binding, and finding a balance —

Breasts, boobs, ta-tas, melons, etc., etc., etc. What’s a genderqueer/non-binary AFAB (assigned female at birth) to do with them?? Of course, the true answer is – whatever you want! But let’s drill down a bit… (more…)

Posted in general non-binary stuff, my identity story

What’s In a Name?

What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet

Romeo and Juliet, Act II. Scene II.
William Shakespeare

“A rose by any other name?! Yeah, right!” I’m pretty sure that’s the sentiment you’d get from transgender folks about names. Names can be a critical part of one’s identity and can serve as a way to affirm your gender identity to yourself and have others affirm it back to you (p.s. don’t deadname people).

At the same time, the truism derived from Shakespeare holds, well… true. The person you know and love, who has come out and identifies as a gender other than what you thought they were – they’re the same person you know and love, just with a different name! And now, you can show your love by using their new, chosen name!

Is this just a transgender thing, you ask? Nope. Does this apply to non-binary people, too? It sure does! A fair number of genderqueer/non-binary individuals choose to change their names to reflect their “less/non-gendered” identity – especially if they have particularly “feminine” or “masculine” names. (more…)

Posted in gender presentation, labels, Quick Trips

Quick Trip: “Where Have All the Butch Dykes Gone?”

Where Have All the Butch Dykes Gone?” is the title of a November 2017 article by Caitlin Cruz in the online publication them. It has the enticing subtitle “they haven’t disappeared — the gender binary has.” With a subtitle like that, I assumed there would be a good deal of discussion about non-binary individuals who embrace the butch aesthetic (yay! That’s me!). I also (perhaps selfishly) assumed that there would be discussion about non-binary gender identities more broadly, especially with teases like this quote, “But watching the changing state of gender has been a balm for Jule.” However, the article never really addresses non-cis gender identities other than tangentially – definitely a tease lacking a satisfying follow-through. (more…)

Posted in community, gender presentation, labels, my identity story

How I Know I’m Genderqueer

Last time on Gender Fog Blog…

I had fantastic role models in my life – from my mother to my sisters (who are 9 and 11 years older than I am) to various aunts and family friends – that celebrated and modeled the wonderful variety of womanhood.

So, why, in spite of all those great models of the myriad ways to be a woman, do I feel most comfortable calling myself genderqueer/non-binary? Here are some of my thoughts – in no particular order: (more…)

Posted in Uncategorized

“Gender Dysphoria, or Just Hating My Gender?”

Gender dysphoria, gender resentment, socialized misogyny…

I’ve been mulling these topics over for ages and have been jotting notes for a post on the topic for a while now, too. Last Thursday’s (9/20/18) Dear Prudence advice column (second letter at the link) prompted me to flesh out my thoughts… or at least take them out for a test drive. (more…)

Posted in Quick Trips

Quick Trip: We Exist – Beyond the Binary

“What if the world told you that you do not exist?” This is the central theme of We Exist – Beyond the Binary, an independently produced documentary featuring Lauren Lubin, a former Division I basketball player who identifies as non-binary. The film traces Lubin’s journey of gender discovery (and top surgery) and includes interviews with physicians and other LGBTQ advocates (including Kristin Russo and Tyler Ford). (more…)

Posted in community, my identity story


Ash Hardell, YouTuber, author, and non-binary person tweeted yesterday, “… Know any nb people over 30 years old? Tag them (or yourself) in a reply to this tweet! I’m looking for folks to be in a project”

My mental response was, “Oooooh! Me! Me! Me! And ‘over 30?’ Try over 45!!” I replied to the tweet with a more mature sentence structure. And I don’t mind saying that I hope my reply tweet is noticed… Community is important and I’m looking for one.


Posted in my identity story

Five Things I Love (and Five Things I Don’t Love) About Being Genderqueer/Non-Binary

Five Things…

First, a MASSIVE caveat. These lists should really be titled: “Five Things I Love (and Five Things I Don’t Love) About Being a Genderqueer Non-Binary Woman Who Prefers to Present Masculine of Center, Doesn’t Wear Makeup, Dislikes Dresses, and Who Wants Everyone to Know That This is Just my Own personal Perspective and is NOT Representative of Everyone who Identifies as Non-Binary.”